SiXeR - Moomin Love
Reviewed by Helen on 11th January 2007
The first thing I noticed about this band / collective of drop-outs is that they sent their tracks in M4A format, which meant I had to download iTunes onto my computer at work. That really peed me off.
On further inspection, there's actually quite a lot that pees me off about this dribbly little wet patch of urea that calls itself a band. Their tracks are bad quality, all the songs are mixed at different levels, and their website makes you wonder whether they attended English lessons at school.
But what hits you more than anything is the warm, useless way they trickle into your ear, soaking your brain into the most utter pap. All the other stuff could easily be excused if they were actually any good. They're not. They are, in fact, astoundingly bad.
Think unoriginal. Think boring. Think out of tune. I'd ask what they were thinking, if I suspected for even one moment that they had the capacity to do any thinking whatsoever. I mean, Moomin Love. In my local colloquial language, a Moomin is someone of below-average intelligence: a bit slow, a bit stupid, very dreary. So the song is well-named. I realise that the fashion is to be as disaffected as possible, but this is taking it too far. Were they asleep when they wrote this album? Or wasted?
It gets worse. Check out their MySpace page here. Let's put it this way, Chris Martin would probably want to shag Gwyneth Paltrow to this music.
But I don't think you can wholly blame Coldplay, to be honest. The general problem spans far, far beyond that. There's some kind of rennaissance in lounge music going on at the minute. It's dreadful. The only other place in Europe you'll this dreadful musical apathy is in cocktail lounges in Frankfurt, or in lifts in Belgium, or perhaps at Barry Manilow concerts.
Am I being too harsh? Perhaps. But this utter ear-rape cannot be ignored. It's time to let musical adolescence go; time to flush the toilet and move on. Besides, they sent their review to us. They're asking for it.
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