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The Hazzards - So Pretty

Reviewed by Helen on 19th October 2006

Contrary to the increasingly-normal method of finding bands on MySpace, I originally found the Hazzards in the "laugh at the weirdos" section of BoreMe.com, with the kooky video to their single "Gay Boyfriend". Yes. "Gay Boyfriend".

Maybe it's just me, but the almost childish vocals and ultra-innocent syncopated style of the Hazzards (formerly the Ukes of Hazzard... best band-name EVER) is so catchy it hurts. All of a sudden, you want to wear pink and buy junk jewellery and put your hair in pigtails... as I said, maybe it's just me...

Anyway, if there's anything that can truly mark the new age of Riot Grrrl (whilst killing off the old) it's the Hazzards. Vestiges of the old genre hang like mist around their lyrics, but are heartily laughed at throughout. The sweet and kooky Girl Beer states in a sing-song, self-depreciating voice that Girl beer is an awesome malt drink / Instead of tasting beery, it tastes pink / It tastes like candy and it works like wine / We love it and we drink it all the time. The bizarre and catchy duetted styling pulls you in like a warm, rose-scented undercurrent. What girl could fail to love the Hazzards? I haven't met such a girl.

Then of course there's the most awesome song on the album, Gay Boyfriend. It starts with a hooky bass guitar, goes Ukulele-style Hawaiian (the Hazzards' trademark style), and descends into soft pink marshmallowly saccarine, the kind of musical sugar that barges through the other side of sickly and goes to a place that everyone adores, not just Willy Wonka and his Oompa Loompas.

There isn't, to my knowledge, even one female out there that didn't harbour a secret smile the first time it crossed their ears. It brings every woman - goths, emos, poptarts, indie chicks, even Arctic Monkeys fans - to their collective knees in universal agreement. If there's a chick out there that doesn't feel that this rings even slightly true, I'd like to meet her just so that I can smack her in the face for being such a philistine. What single, disillusioned and slightly bitter ex-girlfriend (and we've all been there, ladies) doesn't see the plus side of a gay boyfriend? As the Hazzards say, You don't care how big my ass is / Just how fabulous my dress is.

At the end of the day, the Hazzards are proof that lead singers don't have to be perfect singers, electric guitars don't necessarily have to be involved, and that Paris Hilton is intrinsically flawed. Why this last one? Because, unlike Paris Hilton, Anne and Sydney actually pull off the sweet innocent girlyness they aspire to.

Rating: 8/10
Website: www.hazzards.com

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