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Ben and Jerry's Sundae on the Common

Clapham Common on 7th August 2005
Reviewed by Rall on 14th August 2005

When we got there, the place was empty. It was almost as if midday was too early to be stuffing your face with free Ben and Jerry's! People these days eh?

There were people dressed as cows, a man in a monkey suit shoving bananas into unsuspecting people's mouths and a HELTER SKELTER. Needless to say, I screamed all the way down, but that's because I tend to reach terminal velocity before a 5 year old would.

For the first little while the Lemon Jelly man Fred Deakin was playing a few nice tunes, but there were so few people there, no-one was really watching. And I didn't hear him play any Lemon Jelly. Which was a bit stupid really. So anyway, while he was on, we helped the lovely people making a Clapham bandstand mosaic to cut out some leaf-shaped green tiles. Ours were the best.

Sophie Barker

After the tile shaping, we got more ice cream and sat to watch a little bit of Sophie Barker. Nice voice. Pretty summer-acoustic style tunes. Not very exciting. By now the place was filling up, and queues were beginning to form at the free ice cream points. Oh, and Bob and I did the bungee run. Which promptly buggered up my neck for the next few days. And the woman in front of us in the bungee queue helpfully informed me that the people in cow suits weren't real. Thanks.

Rating: 4/10
Website: www.sophiebarker.com


After another few scoops of free ice cream we settled down to watch a bit of Yeti. While they were good and got a few people dancing, I didn't find them all that exciting. After 15 minutes it felt like we'd been listening to the same song. I'd say they were the kind of band who have talent and potential. They just don't have that certain it yet.

After Yeti, we went and made a Rawkstar cow-cookie and a cookie depicting the scene before us. I tell you what - they were delicious!

Rating: 6/10
Website: www.yetiintelligence.com

British Sea Power

After our cow cookies and quick visit to the real cow at the back of the.. well, I suppose it was an arena, we made it back to the front of the stage in time for BSP. Every time I've seen them live so far, they've looked like right miserable gits. They've still been great gigs, but there was always a little something missing. Today, it was all there. I danced around like an idiot, despite not really knowing any songs apart from Remember Me, and I think the band did a little bit of dancing too. It was the best I've seen them, looking like they're having fun, yet still deadly serious about their trade.

The keyboard/drum man ran around the crowd, for a while I thought he was off to recruit the cows but alas he did not. I will admit though, that seeing a giant bear walking about the stage, being beaten around the head by the guitarist, with his guitar, was the highlight of my day.

The Bear vs. Noble

View the gallery of the BSP set.

Rating: 10/10
Website: www.britishseapower.co.uk

Alabama 3

We didn't stay and watch Alabama 3. Because they're crap.

During Alabama 3 though, we did see BSP's guitarist trying to play juggling ball keepie-uppie with some random blokes. He's not the most graceful of men is he?

By now the whole arena was a queue: queues for the ice cream, queues for the bungee run, queues for the helter skelter and the biggest queue in the world for the pie and mash stall. I tell you what though, it was worth the wait!

Rating: 0/10
Website: www.alabama3.co.uk

The Thrills

We already knew the Thrills were as boring as fuck, so we decided not to watch them either.

Rating: 0/10
Website: www.thethrills.com

By now the smell of regurgitated sugar seeping from the portaloos was turning our stomachs and the chickens were trying to escape from the petting zoo. So bellies full of ice cream and pie, we decided to take our leave, with a tree in our bag and lovely big smile on our faces.


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